The Arena
Stach Battles Who Has the Better Stach?
★ Pick a Side. Cast Your Vote. ★
Celebrity vs celebrity. Character vs character. Firehouse vs firehouse. One vote per battle, live results, and arguments that will never truly be settled — which is the point.
0Live Battles
13Battle Votes
12Settled
Live Battles
0 openNo open battles in this bracket right now. See all battles →
🏁 Recent Results
Mark Twain
Theodore Roosevelt vs Mark Twain · Sep 3, 2026
49–51
Doc Holliday
Wyatt Earp vs Doc Holliday · Sep 1, 2026
49–51
Rollie Fingers
Rollie Fingers vs Keith Hernandez · Aug 30, 2026
60–40
Freddie Mercury
Freddie Mercury vs Lionel Richie · Aug 29, 2026
60–40
Hercule Poirot
Hercule Poirot vs Inspector Jacques Clouseau · Aug 28, 2026
55–45
Tom Selleck
Tom Selleck vs Nick Offerman · Aug 27, 2026
54–46
Ron Swanson
Ron Burgundy vs Ron Swanson · Aug 26, 2026
46–54
Sam Elliott
Sam Elliott vs Burt Reynolds · Aug 25, 2026
52–48
Community Battles
Upload Your Stach to Enter Community Battles
Approved community staches can be drafted into head-to-head battles against other members. Win, and the battle goes on your official Mr. Stach Card record.
One vote per battle per person. Repeat voting is gently but firmly discouraged. Battles are entertainment, not a formal adjudication of facial hair.
